| 90.7 Kg |
[28 Aug 2005|09:38pm] |
I have always been a big guy. Earlier in life I was 300 lbs of mostly muscle (22 inch bicep, calf, neck) . At that time, I possessed all the ego and arrogance that went with it. Those days have been long gone and for the past 5 years I have hovered around a "healthy" 238lbs.
Due to diet, a couple of mentally challenging months, and a 10K, I would like to report that for the first time in probably 20 years I weight 200.0 lbs. I think I'm approaching "average" for a 6'2", large frame, human male.
Now if I could just ditch this bronchitis, I might shed that last 10 pounds and maybe even enjoy running.
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| Long time, no update. |
[13 Mar 2005|08:01pm] |
It has been forever since I updated my journal, and, unfortunately, even longer since I have read anyone elses. My biggest shock was Cloverbee's. I found out both to what degree her father was sick and the fact that she started a bath salts business.
To Cloverbee: I don't know what it takes to make those, but I can try to automate that process for you if you hit the bigtime. If there is anything I can do for your dad, let me know. Threaten to send me over to do some carpentry if he doesn't drink his broth.
So back to ramblings...
I'm off the Paxil now for months. Right now, I running for my medication and the past several weeks I have needed it. I have removed my not-running excuses by purchasing a treadmill.
T-Minus 5 days until my birthday. I can no longer ecsape the "mid thirties" as I hit 35. I will be buying myself a JVC KD-DV5100 for the Crown Vic. This unit will read MP3s from a dual layer DVD (8.5 GB). It has a RCA Video out port with a fancy MP3 and Sirius interface that I should be able to plumb back in through the laptop. However, I am considering a rearview mirror with a 3.5" LCD display built in.
I am going to Fantasm next weekend. I know I will see many of you there.
That is all. Nothing much more of interest.
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| Roug Day |
[31 Oct 2004|12:51am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 as a shithouse rat |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Galic Storm's "How Are We Getting Home" Album |
] |
I pissed away an entire day today.
I was been 3 weeks since my last bout with the crazies. This morning I read Slashdot and discovered that the RIAA is suing 750 more people. Instantly I was totally convinced that I am on that list. This is somewhat funny due to the fact that I really don't even "get" music (I have no good reason or excuse for this). It is usually lost on me. Not to mention that when I file share, I use Gnetella and eMule networks. While not immune from RIAA, they are lesser targets. Not to even mention the fact that the files I share are almost always NOT music or obviously copyrighted.
So, while I was sitting in my recliner waiting on the RIAA to call, I thought I would catch up on journal and damn if I did not find something else to obsess over.
So, with two good things to obsess over, I had a full day. I did allow myself a couple of hours of lugging the kid to the mall to trick or treat, getting coffee, and playing in the 25 cent "rides", sticking our hands in the fountain, etc. For a minute there, I thought I had broken the process.
Ohhh but noooo. When we got back home my brain started back in it's semi-infinite loop. At 9:30, I had had enough. Something was going to give. I considered Wild Turkey, Paxil, Ambian, and Seroquel. I settled for running. The Wild Turkey would have been much more enjoyable.
I have a stress fracture in one of my lower vertebrae (It's a "stable" injury. Many runners get them). It hurts when I breath, it hurts when I walk, and it feels like someone is planting a 500 degree, 2400 volt battle axe +4 in my back when I run.
The running and the pain both increase the amount serotonin in the brain, making me less crazy. I'm not "right" by any means, but now I think I can escape into a book. This entry has distracted me enough that with a little Nyquil, I could be fast asleep.
Thanks for listening.
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| Rough Night |
[07 Oct 2004|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 depressed |
] |
After several weeks of reducing my dosage, I have winged myself off of Paxil. I fear tonight will be my first trial.
I strained my back falling down the attic stairs. The physical limitations are driving me crazy alone. My child will not stop crying and will not sleep. Pixel (my cat) is demanding attention that I don't have patience to give. And I'm being mentally overrun with obsessive thoughts. I pretty sure that by tomorrow morning, I'll be fine. However, right now, that seems so far away.
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| I have an independece problem.... |
[02 Oct 2004|12:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 dirty |
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music |
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The whirling sounds of CD Ripping |
] |
I have always known that I have had a tendency to be independent. In almost every aspect, I have had the need to be able to do things myself. Today I hit what I think to be the extream....
One of the home air conditioner died via a catastrophic chain of events (they are boring to most of you). Long story short, as of this morning, everything is reassembled. During the reassembly I discovered a leak in the evaporator coil. Up until that point, all the things I needed to work on the AC were: A digital multimeter, screwdrivers, wrenches, Google, and courage.
A breach in the closed system, however, requires specialized tools (Vacuum pump, HVAC Gauges, Leak detector, and violation of federal law (for unlicensed access to R22)). I just stopped myself for acquiring said parts which would probably cost me $400 vs. a $200 service call.
I have a vacuum pump that I engineered and works for what i need it to do... but I usually don't need to to evacuate an HVAC system. I have a set of 134a HVAC gauges. The Hydroscopic oil is probably corrosive to the R22 seals, so I would need to acquire gauges ($100). I have access to a staff of about 50 engineers and a few hundred maintenance guys who I know could "acquire" my R22.
I think I would acquire the tools IF 1. I could acquire R22 easily. 2. I didn't have to purchase a reclaimer (environmental responsibility) 3. I could get everything I need in the next couple of days at the same cost as I could if I acquired it over the next couple of months.
Fuck it... Now I don't know what I'm doing again. I'm going to Fry's
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| Enough with the pissing and moaning... |
[22 Sep 2004|11:37pm] |
I making an entry just to make an entry. I would write about Paxil but I think I have beaten that horse to death. I'll type about other crap that doesn't matter...
I have almost finished my MAME cabinet. For those of you who don't know what MAME is; www.mameworld.net
This is what I have finished so far:
MAME .85 running with %90 of the games playable (http://www.mameworld.net/)
Daphne with all known games (http://www.daphne-emu.com/)
Visual Pinball with about 200 tables (http://www.vpforums.com/)
PVR (Poor man's Tivo) software installed and configured complete with an IRBlaster to control the cable box (http://www.byopvr.com/)
MP3 JukeBox (http://www.virtualmusicjukebox.com/)
A front end to it all (http://www.maximusarcade.com)
I'm currently using a 19" monitor for the display and I haven't installed the bezel yet. I'm holding out for a "21 or better.
If you read all of this, please send a picture of your left nipple to want2bet at yahoo dot com
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| And I thought I was just a wimp... |
[14 Mar 2004|08:23pm] |
SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome
I'll highlight what I'm experiencing...
Neurologic symptoms include:
Dizziness
Vertigo
Lightheadedness
Difficulty walking
Somatic (bodily) complaints include:
Nausea/vomiting
Fatigue
Headaches
Insomnia
Less common difficulties:
Shock-like sensations (These are my favorites. I wish I could accurately describe them.)
Parasthesia (skin crawling, burning or prickling)
Visual disturbances (Blurryness from time to time... not like pink elephants)
Diarrhea
Muscle pain
Chills
Non-specific mental symptoms:
Shock-like sensations
Agitation
Impaired concentration
Vivid dreams
Depersonalization - sense of unreality and loss of self
Irritability
Suicidal thoughts (No one panic, These are fleeting and my life insurance is void if I go out this way)
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| Paxil Fluctuations |
[14 Mar 2004|07:55pm] |
I'm giving up ditching the Paxil for now. Rough times tonight. Fighting massive "Sunday Night Blues". I'm in a bad place. I can not tell if I am sick or if I'm just mentally ill.
On a brighter note....
When I was in 4th grade my teacher read us "Nancy and Plum" it has been out of print since '97. Cheapest used I found on Amazon was $100 (Not signed or first editions)! For some odd reason, I found it on Buy.Com. I have 3 copies on order. I remember it as pure happiness. One goes to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) cloverbee because I owe her one Standard English ShitLoad of happiness.
Unreal Tournament 2004 probably hits the shelves this Thursday (My birthday)
I found Diet 7Up on sale for $2.50 a 12 pack, but I'm usually a Diet Sprite man.
The Ford Explorer is officially gutted of technology from this decade. I'm having it cleaned up so I can get rid of it.
On a neutral note...
Looks like I'm headed to the west coast in about 7 days.
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| I did it... |
[08 Feb 2004|10:31pm] |
I ran today for the first time in months. My brain is now full of additional chemicals that make me both happy and sedate. Running on a regular basis out performs my 20mg of Paxil. I really do need to get back in that habit.
I need some running paraphernalia:
New sunglasses (basic, lightweight, for running) $25
MP3 Player (Rio Cali 128MB) $130
New pair of trail running shoes $100
Batteries for my Heart monitoring device and pedometer $10
Hmmmm $265 to run happily.... I'm hear to tell you, anything to distract from the pain is worth it. I wish I could put price tags on devices to relieve me of other pains.
Other things on my want list:
The new Nokia 610 car phone and a new cell phone (Nokia 6230) to pair it with.
A PA 300 Siren head for the Crown Vic.
A new car stereo for the Crown Vic.
A new bag of magic tricks from www.hanklees.com
1 Bottle of time.
1 Spell of "Reverse Time"
1 Massage
I'm willing to take donations for the Bottle of Time, Spell of "Reverse Time", and the massage.
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| Short Update |
[27 Jan 2004|12:19am] |
I'm better than 2 weeks into my "diet" and I'm down 9 pounds. Not bad. This is my last week to slack though. Next week I start trying to run again. That means that I need new shoes.
So far, dixiecheese has been the only one brave enough to wager with me on the weight loss and she didn't even ask for anything if I lost. If I make my goal, I get a new thrift store purse and scarf for The Red Dress Run.
Speaking of wagers... I just spend about 30 min IM'ing with agathagrimm. We now have a wager of 1 PayPal dollar on the Superbowl. Chatting with her was a good end to a bad day. She made me smile (and she thought it was the Paxil).
If anyone else is up for a Superbowl wager, I'm game. The line is 6.5 points with NE favored. I prefer not to wager monetary goods, (1 PayPal dollar is more novelty than monetary).
I also IM'ed with some random stranger in Calhoun, Ga (just up the road). I was hoping for intellectual stimulation but found absolutely none. I think there should be IQ tests before Windows will operate.
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| Discovery Health Challenge |
[10 Jan 2004|06:33pm] |
So it begins....
8 years ago I ditched 80 lbs and kept it off for the most part. I have put about 15 of them back on and now it is time to drop to a new low body weight.
The Discovery Health Challenge had a "weigh in" today. I tipped the scales at 245lbs (hidden pretty well on a 6'3" frame). I'm going to start the path to get back into shape. My goal is to be in shape by April.
I lack self discipline and need all the incentive that I can get. Anyone want to offer up any incentives if I make my goal? If they are too risque to post here, feel free to send them to me via e-mail ;-)! What do I get if I lose 20lbs? 30?
On a different note...
terracinque has vowed to exercises every damn day for 2004. Most of you would think him crazy. However, 2003 he did not drink alcohol (and he is a hasher)! Therefore, I know him to be crazy.
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| Long Day |
[30 Dec 2003|12:52am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The beacon of a LEO (Low Earth Orbiter) Satellite on 399.968 |
] |
Today was a very long day. It started this morning at 6 am with a toasted everything bagel and coffee from Dunkin Donuts (oops... and a French Cruler) and ended tonight about 12:00 when I got home.
I feel like I have been rode hard and put away wet. I'm calmly sitting in front of the computer drinking my Chamomile(sp) tea. I'm going to read the next couple of chapters in my book and pass out.
Work starts again in the morning at 6 am. I'm going to splurge tomorrow and get cream cheese on my bagel.
On a side note, I have about 10,000 640X460 jpg images I need to string together for a time lapse movie. Anyone know of any easy to use tools for that? All the shareware stuff breaks after about 1024 frames.
Anyone have any stunning plans for New Year's Eve?
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| Fucking Rain and the hole in the roof of my car. (I'm a dumbass) |
[13 Dec 2003|03:11pm] |
It is cold and raining. I was in the middle of installing a new antenna on the Crown Vic and it started to rain. Probably a good thing considering I haven't been able to feel my fingers for the last hour.
I'm kinda like the absent minded professor. On paper, I'm a genius, however:
1. I didn't wear a coat today and it's 40 Deg F out.
2. I never find my keys, shoes, pants, or wallet on the first 3 tries.
3. I didn't check the weather before I drilled a goddamned hole in the roof of my car.
4. I took Ford Motor Company's word on the fact that the pink wire really did lead to ground.
5. I still don't know where my fucking wallet is today and I need parts.
6. I haven't started Christmas shopping yet, so if you are on my list, you are screwed.
7. I'm sick and still didn't have enough sense to put on a coat in the 40 Deg F weather.
8. I miss Farshad and he's a guy, and I'm straight.
9. I thought teaching the 15 month old how to operate the remote control was a good idea.
10. I need hot coffee and a hot shower. Instead, I'm going to grab some change out of the household change pit (I know you all have them) and go by $20 worth of parts. (But the parts store knows me and will give me coffee if I ask, but they are going to bitch about the change).
11. My grammer and spelling need significant work to conform to standard.
I'm still wondering if TheGreyMan's Jeep was fixed by the crank sensor. I know it's running, but their journals told no details. We will see if TGM or his wonderful bride actually read my journal or just note it in passing ;-)
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| How I can be this arrogant AND this stressed out? |
[07 Dec 2003|10:36pm] |
My jaws hurt. I have been grinding my teeth for days. Work is hell right now. The sever stress has been weighing on me for a week. When I get stressed, I abuse food. I really need to start running again. I bet I have gained 7lbs in the last 7 days.
I have been gulping hot tea down like I have stock in Celestial Seasonings. It is my way of relieving stress and distracting me from food. It isn't working.
In the past I have always been able to tell the difference between "good stress" and "anxiety". Well, my "good stress" has peaked to the point now that I can no longer distinguish if work is really really bad, or if someone swapped out my Paxil with a placebo.
In between thinking about work, I have been working on my Crown Vic. All the power is wired through the firewall, but I don't have my auxillary battery yet. My laptop is mounted and my wig wags and remote start are installed. I got my center console in the mail friday and took an hour or so to put it in as well.
Things left to do:
1. Install 2m/440 NMO antenna
2. Install 2m/440 Ham Radio
3. Instal BC870XLT
4. Install Auxillary Battery
5. Install "Deep Cycle" conditioner
6. Install Battery Isolator (from Hellroaring Technologies)
7. Wire in user interface for BI. (2 meters, 2 switches, and a light)
8. Install PA/Siren/Radio Repeat
9. Install new drivers seat (with butt warmer)
10. Add Cruise Control.
11. Replace hubcap (AGAIN!)
12. Shim body parts back in place.
13. Spot weld the base of the A-frame
14. Acquire and install a new radio
15. Move the XM radio over from the Explorer
16. Win the lottery and add a supercharger w/ intercooler and some fat tires
The Explorer is becoming more and more empty. You could almost hear and echo in there now. Anyone need a well used 1994 Ford Explorer Sport with 230K? The transmission barely has 65K on it. Loaded BUT... Windshield is cracked, passenger's door needs to be skinned, and has 8 years of coffee stains. It runs well, but needs to be cleaned up ($1500).
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| It has been too long.... |
[12 Nov 2003|10:47pm] |
I make few journal entries a year, and never really when I have anything important to say.
I'm rebuilding my own automatic transmission. For those of you who want to try this to save a dime, don't. If you want to learn how a transmission works, well, it's the toughest 3D jigsaw puzzle you may ever tackle. I have no idea what I'm doing but I never let that stop me.
The "Exploder" that I was driveing (215K miles) will soon be retired (as soon as I get the transmission in it). If anyone needs a slightly dented 1994 Ford Explorer Sport with 215K miles on it, let me know. For a nominal fee I'll leave in: The wideband frequency scanner, the extra battery and combination unit, the ham radio, the laptop stand, the laptop, the GPS, the TNC, the CB radio, the AC inverters, power conditioners and power extentions. Oh, but it doesn't have a windshield wiper resivior (I had to put the extra battery somewhere).
I just purchased a 2000 Crown Victoria Police Interceptor (Black, K9 Tint). The body has 110K, but the engine only has 5K. Just a tad bit of difference in the power I'm use to. I barked the tires 4 times (on accident) the first 15 minutes I owned it.
Things I have learned in the first 24 hours of driving a police car:
1. People can't wait to let you over. (Good)
2. People drive 33 mph on a 35 mph road if they see you. (Bad)
3. The PI's don't have a speed limiter at 110 mph (Good?)
4. You shouldn't work on your own airbags. (Bad)
5. It is easy to get a free cup of coffee in a PI. (Good)
6. Sometimes they obviously don't even aim the radar gun at you if you run through a speed trap (Good).
7. Donut stains are impossible to remove (Just kidding)
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| Fatherhood |
[14 Sep 2003|10:11pm] |
Circus baby tricks my 11 month old preforms:
Upon being queried to her age, she holds up her index finger.
She knows that birds flap their wings and will do so when prompted.
She knows to say "thank you" when you hand her something. It sounds like "ta-ta".
If she she sees a dog in a book she will pant.
She knows a hand signal for "more" and uses it often.
Upon fitting the correct shape in the bi-lingual cookie jar, she holds her arms up to signify "touchdown".
She knows how to feed the dogs and does so out of humor.
She has learned that she can control the weather by pulling the little knob on top of the tub spogot.
She has mastered the stairs literaly forwards and backwards.
She can blow her dad kisses when he drops her off at daycare
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| Alive and Kicking. |
[03 Sep 2003|09:53pm] |
Well, I survived DragonCon again. I would need a liver transplant if I did that more than once a year. I met many people and added a few to my friends list. The only negative effect from DC is the post con depression. I combat it with a combination of Paxil, Fantasy novels, Sleeptime Extra Tea, and e-mail from friends.
I tried to go to work today, but the interstate north bound was closed. That, in combination with my DragonCon depression and a sinus infection just caused me to give up and turn around to work from home. I actually took a nap today too and that was well needed.
After writting code all day (which makes me happy) I felt like working on my work truck. Of all things, I fixed the AC.
To top off the end of a good day, I'm about to go play the Warlords 4 demo. Great turn based strategy game if you have the patience for it.
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| Bored out of my skull. |
[24 Aug 2003|10:25pm] |
I'm bored. I owe someone e-mail and I have been putting it off all night because once I'm done with that, I'm out of things to do.
I need more e-mail.
DragonCon is around the corner. Time to escape from society and drink with my friends! I went to Meehan's Ale House last night and drank my fill. They even had Pineapple Martinis (not that I would substitue beer with a Pineapple Martini) Kinda like a warm up for DragonCon.
No penis candles this year. They kinda bother the S.O. I get away with almost everything else so I will not argue this minor point. She doesn't say much if I make one or two, but past that she starts in with the questionable frowns.
I think I owe Farshad about a case of liquor and two of beer. Other friends have sworn to drink me under the table. Maybe I should stay sober this long weekend . I need the alcohol to strip off my mundane layer that grows thick through out the year.
Off to write my last e-mail. I'll gladly welcome more... even from strangers. In fact, the stranger, the better.
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| Need a beer. |
[18 Aug 2003|10:01pm] |
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Who is buying me a beer at DragonCon?
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| 2 Paxil Night |
[13 Aug 2003|11:55pm] |
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It is a 2 Paxil night... and that's just because I only have 2 left.
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